Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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