just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
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