dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Someone came in the potted fern
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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