I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
