batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
