drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I wish i was in the wii world.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
In other news, I just burned my penis
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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