U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Fuck appropriateness.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
