That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
