Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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