I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
