Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I am never drinking with the goths again.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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