I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
