You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
