this boner is exhausting
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
