question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
