remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize