k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Randomize
