bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
