I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
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