brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
