My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
