I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
