can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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