im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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