i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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