Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
