I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
