I could make wine with my vomit
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
