Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Randomize
