i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
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