just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Sorry my hands just texted you
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
whose parrot is this?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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