Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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