Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
