Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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