Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
you inspire me to be a worse person
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
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