Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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