But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
