why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
