i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I currently don't understand fingers.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
