my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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