i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
