hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
