About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
