O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
How does it feel to date your dad?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize
