a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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