we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
