She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Randomize
