also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize
