NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
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