I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
