She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize