he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
