Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
