at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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