So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
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