Its about making memories worth repressing
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
