Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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