i barfeds in our rink
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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