what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
