what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
