What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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