So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
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