first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
