I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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